Dan Brown

Any book by Dan Brown is automatically a douchebook. As soon as you see someone reading The Da Vinci Code or Angels and Demons, you know exactly who they are. If you really, really are dying to see what religion that professor will blaspheme next, please, keep it by your bedside. I will be less inclined to judge you.

Are some offenses worse than others? Oh. yes, yes they are. Quoth Libby:
"A couple reading Angels and Demons on the Greyhound. a couple. TOGETHER."

First, the sheer grossness of a couple reading any book together is douchey enough. Can't you do anything separately? Second, is Angels and Demons a "couple" book? Do you have heated debates that always, inevitably lead to hot, hot, Dan Brown-inspired lovin'? That is just icky. You are making all of us who see you reading a Dan Brown book together think that very thing, and that's just rude.

Congratulations, Dan Brown. You are not only an author, but a relationship-saver.

What is a douchebook?

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to douchebooks. What is a douchebook, you may ask? Well, my co-writer and I had that very chat last week. Enjoy and don't get too mad. This shit's free, you know?

libby: da vinci code
me: YES
libby: any of the shopaholic books
me: yup
and a million little pieces
that oprah book
libby: candice bushnell x-(
libby: NO BUKOWSKI POETRY
me: you cannot possibly be able to concentrate on them on the T though so obviously you are just trying to look smart
libby: post office, factotum and hot water music are permitted
me: fair enough
libby: um.. no catcher in the rye or 9 stories, only franny and zooey
but still, you're pushing it with that one